Your Husband Cannot Read Your Mind

Creative Commons License photo credit: dierk schaefer

“I’m so overwhelmed that I don’t even know where to start!!”

That’s what I said to my husband at the beginning of our homeschool year.

I was planning our curriculum for the year. Doing that for 6 children is no easy task!

Do you ever get that sick feeling when it comes to actually sitting down and making yourself come up with a plan?

I used to.

I had to sit down and have a talk with my husband about how overwhelmed I was feeling.

He had NO CLUE!

What he did know was that my shoulder muscles were tense; hard as a rock whenever he’d try to message it. He knew that I’d get a little testy with the children over small stuff. He knew that I was feeling the stress of wanting certain things and not being able to purchase them when needed.

I’ve learned and have told many wives that our husbands are not mind readers. We shouldn’t be upset with them if they don’t know what’s going on in those pretty little heads of ours!

Why hadn’t I applied this same advice to our homeschool life?!

I just decided to talk to my husband about what was going on; just laid it out.

He became a bigger encouragement for me than most of my girlfriends. He knows me better than anyone else.

I realized that I was feeling stress from not wanting to let him or what he expected down. I AM our children’s primary educator, after all.

I was also stressing about not getting all of our daily work done and him coming home asking the children, “Did you all finish your work today?”

If they hadn’t, I felt like a failure.

What he really wanted to know was “Did you do what your momma asked you to do today?”

My husband, doesn’t expect perfection in our homeschool.

What my husband expects are children that were honorable to their mom, diligent in getting SOMETHING done, respectful to each other and helping around our home. Period.


SIDENOTE: all of those things don’t always happen! Don’t even think that we have it all together!

Do you stress out about home education? Have you talked to your husband about your feelings and apprehension?

Your husband cannot read your mind and he may not be catching your body language either.

Are you fearful that if you talk to him that he’ll say, “I told you so”?

My thoughts on that: Talk to God first and ask Him to soften your husband’s heart and for Him to give you the right words and perfect timing. You’ll know.

In most homeschool cases where mom is the primary home educator, dads are very supportive.

Talk to your husband. It’s probably the only way he’ll know what’s going on.

Living With Sword and Coffee,


I am my Daddy’s (Abba) girl. I have a major crush on my awesome husband of 16 years. We are a homeschool family with 6 fantastic kids. It’s always lively! I’m a coffee creamer snob. Enjoying life in South Carolina. My desire is to strive daily to pursue excellence in every area of my life.

I can be found several places:

Pursuing What Is Excellent, Twitter & Facebook

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  1. I love this. It’s so very true, and so very easy to forget too! I’m trying to make it a point to ask my husband, “what were you thinking about when you said this/when this happened/when you saw this?” Not in an insulting way, but just a curious way, because it’s very apparent that he views the world through VERY different eyes than I do, and it’s so interesting to hear those thoughts–most of the time they are not even close to what I would have thought they were. And, we’ve been together for 15 years. So, I should know him. Ha! It always confirms to me however, what a wise man I married, and how good we are for each other, as long as we work together to communicate, and amplify each others strengths.

  2. Loved this post. I have come to the realization after 10 years of marriage that I HAVE to tell my honey what I’m thinking. And I’m always shocked that he had no idea when I do. It’s not his fault if I don’t tell him! AND I’ve also learned to drop the whole woman mindset that if I have to tell him what I want him to do for me that “it doesn’t count.” It totally does still “count” and is still sweet when he does it!

  3. I really loved reading this post. I am one who tries to keep all this stuff away from my husband because I should be able to figure it out. Not so. I just had a discussion with him the other night regarding homeschool. The first real discussion since we talked about homeschooling 3 years ago. I was amazed at how interested he was and how he actually was able to help me find a solution to my problem. Amazing what a conversation can do. Thanks for sharing.

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