If I Should Die Before I Wake…
What a title, eh? I hate to be the wet blanket…but my husband and I have just started reviewing our own personal files and are having those ‘hard’ conversations and I realized that this post would be relevant for our Hip Homeschool readers.
We’re preparing for the arrival of our fourth child and with that, comes great reflection. We are NOT guaranteed tomorrow. Neither my husband or myself. To believe that we are immune to tragedy because we homeschool and have small children is foolish of us. So, we’ve started making a plan.
I feel these steps are EXTRA important for homeschoolers. We have unique situations in which in the case of one or both parents death, our children’s world will be disturbed more so than most. There is no stable public or private school they would return to. Mom and Dad are the teachers, coaches, nurses, and counselors. *Some* of us also have ‘larger-than-many’ families. Grandparents or family cannot always step in with the demands of homeschooling families. We owe it to our children to have a plan. We homeschool to provide the BEST for them. And if something should happen to my husband or myself, I STILL want the best for them.
My husband and I followed these three steps:
1. Life Insurance
We have life insurance through my husband’s employer, as I’m sure many of you do. However, when we look at cold, hard facts….the lump sum if my husband were to pass away, would only allow me to pay off the mortgage and then find a new job. I would NOT be able to continue to homeschool. This is not acceptable for me or my husband. We contacted several life insurance companies and have started the process of taking out enough life insurance to insure that I could stay at home as long as needed to homeschool our children and survive comfortably. Would we be able to do all the extras? No. However, I could provide a stable environment for my kids.
On the flip side. What if I die? My husband would no doubt keep working and the children would need to be put in school. We’d want to provide a private school experience if this were the case. Meaning, my life insurance policy would still need to be substantial.
So, put pen to paper and ask yourself how much it would take to live the way you’d like and continue or discontinue homeschooling if need be. Some good questions to ask:
- How much will I need to stay at home and educate our children in case of my husband’s passing?
- If I were to pass away, will my husband continue the course? If so, what monetary amount would be needed to assist him to do that?
- If they MUST go to school, and we choose to pursue private schools, how much per year will each child need to attend? Until high school?
- What about purchasing them clothes, cars, extracurricular goals, etc.?
Here is the company that my husband and I are currently pursuing:
2. A Will
This is obvious, but I wanted to include a few links to reputable sites so that you and your family could start the process. I feel it’s especially important for us homeschoolers to have a will to direct our family and friends on how our children should be educated in case we pass before they are of age. Where would you want them to go to school? Who, if anyone, could continue homeschooling them? If any of your children are teenagers and capable of this type of conversation….you may even want to discuss what their wants would be in case of your passing.
3. A Written Educational Plan
Lastly, I’m working on writing up a plan for my children’s education for family and friends. This is mainly in case my husband and I were to both pass away at the same time. My plan will include
*Various private school and public school listings with applications filled out and ready to go.
*A DETAILED explanation of each of my children’s learning styles, interests, anxieties, and struggles. (this will need to be updated as they grow older)
*A listing of curriculum companies that we’re using *in case* the grandparents or friends decide to continue homeschooling. Or really, even my husband. He is very involved, but doesn’t know all the curriculum choices I use.
*Lastly, a list of the extracurricular activities they are in. This will include contact information for each organization, address, location, etc. I’d want my children to keep up with all their pursuits if possible.
There it is. My Debbie Downer post! No, but really. This is how my husband and I are preparing. I pray to the Lord that my plan is just that…a PLAN….and that we won’t need it in the future. I pray that you all reading this are blessed by it…and NEVER need it!
NOTE: Free images courtesy of FreeDigitalPhotos.net
These are great tips, and is something my husband and I have started talking more about as well. It is extremely depressing, but it definitely needs to be done. Thank you for the resources you shared as well.
This is so important. Families can be totally torn apart and at each others throat over a death. Being older with an adopted grandchild we’re home schooling, we have even made an agreement with one of our sons and his wife that he would take her and complete her home school. It just makes us feel more secure knowing that things are taken care of. I urge everyone to do this. On another sad note, unless you plan to be cremated, burial plots are a good idea. Dirt is not getting any cheaper and your family will be saved the shock of how much this costs. I don’t recommend pre-paid funerals because you’re not guaranteed what you will get at the time. Just have enough life insurance (or a separate policy) for these expenses. It saves and limits families from making purchases out of grief and guilt. Sorry I got OT. Have a blessed day.
I want to thank you for writing this. My husband and I have been thinking about the financial burden of homeschooling and this topic came up. Sharing the plan with age appropriate children seems horrible, but it teaches children to be prepared. My parents told my brother and I where we were to live if there was a problem and what family members to keep contact with. I have never forgotten where they kept our emergency written plan after all these years. Great Post!
Thanks Chanelle! I like your idea. I’ll def. be alerting my kiddos to what/where our plan is!
Thanks to both of you for echoing the importance of this!
Not Debbie Downer at all. Rita Realistic. 🙂
Thanks for a reminder, Liz, that this is something we *must* consider and think about. No matter how much we’d rather not.
Thanks Cindy! I’d SOOO rather not! LOL! And, and must say…’Rita Realistic’ is my new name!!!!!! Love you girl!
Today marks the one year anniversary of the passing of my dear friend. She and her husband homeschooled their seven kids. These steps couldn’t be more important.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend Stephanie! I hate to hear when these plans come into play. I’ll be praying for those seven babies tonight!
An important topic for all parents to discuss. Thanks for sharing this post Liz. Parents must cover all bases to ensure that life goes on as smoothly as possible should one of he parents die prematurely.
Thanks Wade. My own mother had breast cancer when I turned 7. I was an only child (not homeschooled). She went into remission and went to be with the Lord when I was 21. However, I ALWAYS wonder how my life would have been. It’s sobering. Thanks for your comment Wade!!
Old thread so pardon my lateness, but Google found it! Excellent points indeed. As a financial professional and homeschool parent, it’s never been more important to protect our families and our homeschool way of life. My wife and I have made this conversation almost a ministry for us and incorporated into our business. If we can help your family contact us anytime, even just for encouragement!
Mike
http://www.homeschoolfinancial.com