In one week I will graduate my oldest child from 8th grade. High School is looming. Well, actually not looming, but speeding towards me rapidly. Four more years and this kid will potentially not be sleeping nightly in my home any longer. Four. Short. Years.
I am not one who started out with homeschooling dreams for my family.
Our journey started with me kicking and screaming for a year, or maybe even two. Now entering year five, I wouldn’t have it any other way. Neither would the rest of my family.
….but high school? I have doubted it. I have.
I think all too many times in life, I let my day-to-day little things decide my life-altering big things, and really it should be the other way around. I believe whole heartedly that God has called my family to homeschooling. That is the reason that we do what we do. If I allow the good days or the bad days to define my decision, it may end up looking all together different. If I let the voices in my life that don’t agree with our education choice, or the stranger’s comments, or a teenage bad attitude, or my grumpy days, my fears, or even Biology itself, make my decision…it WILL look all together different.
Sitting down to write posts for HHM, I sometimes feel that I should come up with some big fat encouraging string of words that will make everyone run full speed ahead to this life of homeschooling. Anyone who has home schooled for even one hour knows that while there are MANY tiptoe-through-the-tulips moments that are full of gumdrops and ponies, there are also those moments that you lock yourself in the bathroom and shed buckets of tears. There is beauty in the easy and also beauty in the difficult. We desperately need them both.
…and even that beauty does not define my decisions. God does and I need to follow Him regardless of what the day looks like. Even if it is hard and seems undoable, He will make a way. It doesn’t necessarily mean it is time to change plans.
I have spent a couple of months battling fear, anxiety, and that very loud voice in my head saying “AM I SCREWING MY CHILD UP IRREVERSIBLY?” Yet again, I will choose to put my faith in the One who made my child in the first place. I will trust Him.
He has given us everything we need for life and godliness. 2 Peter 1:3
I will rest in the decision that we made for homeschooling and unless the Lord leads us otherwise, we will continue. I will stop spending moments doubting if I should, but spend those moments saying, “Teach me Lord.” He isn’t going to lead us somewhere I can’t follow.
Even into high school…
Bring it on.