I Didn’t Hate School
I don’t remember exactly when, but another mom asked me why we had to decided to homeschool. At the end of her question she said, “I bet you hated school.”
Except I didn’t.
I loved school.
More specifically, I loved my education. I was blessed with access to amazing schools. In kindergarten, when I was reading ahead of level, they moved me to first grade. They did the same for math {which, by the way, quickly corrected itself, and I didn’t see an “advanced” math class again until 8th grade}. I had great friends. I soaked up information, and I looked forward to putting on my uniform everyday. I even liked weekly Mass at my small Catholic school.
I liked high school even more. There was cross country, dances, more friends, activities, crushes & boyfriends, sporting events, and even more great classes. I took classes like Photojournalism and Genetics {why I took extra sciences, I’ll never understand}. I have maybe 2 or 3 bad memories from those four years. Overall, I enjoyed myself, and I wouldn’t change a second of my experience.
“Oh.” she said. “So, um . . . why won’t your kids do that?”
It was like a light went on in my head. So many moms I know who homeschool didn’t have good school experiences. Either they weren’t challenged or had unfortunate social experiences that shaped their memories of those years. I was the opposite.
“I just think I can do better.”
That is what it boils down to for us. I don’t think public or private schools are all bad {just as not every homeschool family is good . . . let’s be honest here}. In fact, I am lucky to be friends with some amazing teachers who have answered more than their share of questions about child development, the schools in our area, and so on and so forth.
It isn’t the teachers I take issue with anyway.
It’s the system.
Maybe school was political when I was there, and I just never realized it. Maybe it was all about standardized tests and funding. We took standardized tests, but not in the way they do now . . . there was no prep {aside from SATs} or pressure. In fact I recall one year while taking the IOWAs a teacher told us the tests didn’t even count.
We had longer recess. We had study halls. We had senior off-campus lunch. We had tons and tons and tons of electives. My high school, specifically, was run more like a college. It was one of the first {maybe even the first} schools in the country to offer full block scheduling – years before my arrival. It was so student-centric that if you wanted an activity to exist then you had the power to create a proposal for it.
The reason I want to homeschool is because I loved school so much. I loved learning. Instead of dreading school each day I woke up ready to grab my bag and head out the door. Learning has always been a passion. I’m still an obsessive researcher.
It makes me sad that schools have had to stifle that love to meet certain scores on tests. Teaching {in a lot of areas} is now teaching for the test rather than teaching for the love of learning. This isn’t some hypothesis. My teacher friends talk about how different it all is. There are banned books, banned topics, curricula designed for maximum scores, and more. What does this all result in? The meltdown at the Atlanta Public Schools.
No. I’m keeping my kids home so that they love to learn. So that they know life is more than standardized tests and sitting still. I want them to be able to learn what they want to learn. If they love biology in 10th grade instead of 11th {or vice versa} we can cover it in a different order. Maybe they will want to take Latin instead of Spanish . . . or maybe both. I can offer those things.
So. No. I didn’t hate school. I loved it, and I can only hope my kids feel the same way even though their experience will look completely different from my own.
Stephanie and her family live in Roswell, Georgia. Originally from the Northeast, Stephanie ditched snow for sun five years ago and hasn’t looked back. Stephanie loves the kitchen, summer dresses, and a good book. She is also active in Junior League of Atlanta and at her local Catholic Church. Armed with an English degree and a MBA, Stephanie is preparing to homeschool her young son, Samuel. She blogs at The Brunette Foodie.
I totally agree with this post. I didn’t hate school either. In fact, I was one of the nerds who thought learning was fun. I think the important thing here is that I am not keeping my kids from having fun in school, I am offering them a different way to learn that will be fun, too. Neither are superior in the fun category, they are just different. And I do feel home school is superior in the education. And yes, there are bad school systems, schools, teachers, programs…and the same could be said for home school families, the curriculum they choose, the schedule they keep, or don’t. I have said your exact words so many times – “I think I can do it better.” I hate that it sounds conceited, but I stand by it firmly.
I completely agree about all types of school being fun. I had a great social life and academic life. Very balanced.
I really think it boils down to the idea of customized education. If the public school could offer the flexibility I can at home I would probably have no issues with public school {assuming we lived in a better school district than we do}. I can already see my toddler’s interest developing and his learning style, and I just really honestly think I can better accommodate him.
Thanks for reading 🙂
Great post! I always respond, I’m not antischool but feel I can do better. It is awesome to be able to learn or relearned more with your children. Thanks for sharing 🙂
I agree with your point on relearning. After high school, I got a BA in English Literature and have a MBA in Finance. I am sure that with such focus post-secondary school I have forgotten a few things. It will be so fun to start to hit things that I have forgotten!
You’re not alone! I took extra science AND math…by choice! Nerd alert! 🙂
What’s so funny about it is that I am HORRIBLE at science. I think maybe I took it to be in class with a cute boy or something…I can think of no other explanation 😉
Thanks for the encouraging post! I struggle with feeling too inadequate to homeschool. I have no training, and it is such a huge responsibility. I still don’t know which way I’ll choose, but GA is a great state to homeschool. There are lots if supporting communities for group field trips and other child interaction which is one major concern.
I often say that if we didn’t live in Georgia I don’t know if I would have even thought to homeschool. Georgia is admittedly a great state for homeschooling, because it is so popular here. With the public schools underperforming and the mess in APS, I really think a lot of families are taking the leap here.
I have no training either. I have a BA in English Literature and a MBA in Finance. Never took an education class. Although, if you live by a Lakeshore Learning store or a similar place they offer lots of great free classes for teachers and homeschool moms. I have taken one or two, and I always learn so much!
I’d say that pretty much sums it up. Can you print that on a t shirt? Lol
I wonder if they make the font small enough `;~)
I agree 100%. I loved middle and high school. I too believe the entire dynamic of public education has changed. Also, parenting in general has changed tremendously and I am not sure I want my children exposed to a lot of what I saw in schools while I was (sub) teaching. There are many reasons why we want to home school; however, quality of education is one of the main reasons. I too think my husband and I can do better!
I agree education has changed. I really believe a lot of it is tied to the emphasis on standardized testing and the banning of topics and books. I can’t imagine not letting a 7th or 8th grader read To Kill a Mockingbird. Things like that really get to me!
What a well written post! I didn’t hate school either, I loved it! I’ll be homeschooling all 3 of my sons this fall. Last month I finally had enough and withdrew my 6th grader from public school. Even though he was a straight A student, I didn’t feel as though he was up to my standards of where he should be. I was spending over an hour each night teaching him the pre-algebra. He was in advanced math and the teacher just handed out worksheets and told them since they’re advanced math, they could figure it out for themselves! He was never taught cursive, or spelling, just taught how to do open responses! For advanced reading class, he was required to read the Hunger games, I was shocked when I read the reviews, definitely not age appropriate! I only had my kids for 5 hours after school, so now we had to fit in over an hour of math homework just for one kid! That doesn’t include, play time, dinner time, bath time, etc… My 3rd grader is still in school, he wanted to stay and I respect his decision. He has a very good teacher and some close friends. I’ve actually been struggling with him being home, not that I don’t love it, because that part makes me very happy! I’m struggling to deal with the mourning process of all his losses, thinking he will miss out on so many things from not attending public school, all the good things. Since I enjoyed school so much and have such wonderful memories it’s been very hard for me to grasp. Logically I know how the bad experiences out weigh the good, but I still mourn… My husband had a very different experience, he absolutely hated school! He had no friends, hated everything about it! I wasn’t in with the most popular, but was in the middle with a lot of friends! That’s what I worry about with my 3rd grader, homeschooling him next year because he has very strong social group at school that’s going to be hard to replace since there aren’t many hs’ing families near us.
I think time is a huge factor as well. One thing I DO think I really got from my education in traditional school is time management skills. I have an excellent ability to manage my time well. Throughout my school career I was incredibly involved in activities, so I had to be able to go to school, stay late for practice/meetings, and get my homework done. To this day I make a daily schedule most mornings {albeit with flexibility given the fact I have a toddler}.
While I think time management is important, and I fully intend to find a way to teach it to my kids, I think family time is more important. My husband works late regularly {he is in advertising}, and I want my kids to be able to spend mornings with him. They won’t have to worry about running out to catch a bus or finish up homework.
Oh, and while I am adamantly opposed to book banning in schools, The Hunger Games is SO incredibly inappropriate for that age group. I don’t think it is banning so much as waiting until the right time to read it…if there is such a thing. I’m not sure why it is even being taught when there are much, much better classic novels that teach the same thing.
I agree whole-heartedly! I too enjoyed school. But it’s just not how it used to be. I’m young–only 32–and we have two toddler sons, 3.5 years and 20 months. We have friends whose kids hate school or our friends themselves are so infuriated with the system that they hate seeing their kids go to school. Education needs to be state- or locally-mandated, not nationally. There is no joy to school anymore. My husband and I are college-educated and really enjoyed school. We were somewhat concerned we may deprive our boys of the same experience, but thanks to your article I feel more confident in our decision to homeschool. Thank you!
I am so glad I could help! I listen to people complain about the schools too, and some of them have no other option since both parents have to work or there are other circumstances. We live in an area with a high homeschool population, and I really believe it is because the public schools leave something to be desired and private school tuition easily hits five figures.
I loved my school experience, as well but feel that today is a different experience at schools. I just started home-schooling our daughter and when asked, I would say what you wrote, because “We can do better.” Thanks for the post, loved reading it. 🙂
I agree it has changed! I’m fairly young {just short of 30}, and I really don’t remember school being like it is today!!!
I have wondered if there were folks that have had a good school experience choose to home school. I had many good teachers and a few exceptionally bad ones that caused me to struggle in high school. It is crazy but I feel the same, that I know I can do as good and strive to do better than the public school setting. When I went to college I loved learning, that is what I want my kids to have. The love of knowledge, and to not fear the unknown, but to figure it out.
I absolutely loved it, and I can count my “bad” teachers are one hand. As I said in the post, I know I had exposure to an exceptional education. For me, it is more about the flexibility I can offer that a public school or private school can.
Same here. I absolutely loved school. My love for learning is why I homeschool! I love the way you answered about why you were homeschooling if you liked school so much. It’s a great reply that might help me answer my skeptical and opinionated relatives in a non-defensive way. Great post!
Thanks so much!
I really think that a love for learning can be better developed at home given the current state of a lot of schools. Obviously there are some amazing and wonderful public & private schools out there that do great things, but I think they are few and far between.
Wonderful! Yes, I fully agree!! I loved school also; mostly elementary over highschool. I was fortunate enough to attend elementary/jr. high grades (1st-8th) in a 2-room school house in the country which could be closely compared to that of a Waldorf school. It was an excellent school and I LOVED it! If it were still open today (which alas it is not due to budget cuts across the state) my kids would have attended it as well. The schools today look nothing similar to what I remembered and therefore my husband and I both whole-heartedly agreed we had to try it ourselves by homeschooling our 2 kids. We started late in the game (6th and 8th grades) but we are so glad we took that plunge!
I think 6th and 8th grade is a great time to start. It is when kids are really learning to be set in their ways. Now they can experience a completely different education and learn that life is more than standardized test scores!
Yes I agree. I just wish sometimes we had started earlier as my heart had wanted too….but, better late than never. 🙂
I am IDENTICAL to you. I think that’s why I had a hard time coming to grips with homeschooling. But, like you, I decided I could do better–and raise more Godly children if they were with me. My husband was the opposite and hated school, so he was at the forefront of our homeschool discussion. Thanks for you insight!!!
See we both loved school! I think we loved it so much we can’t imagine sending our kids to the schools that we feed into currently. If we don’t homeschool high school we live near a great Catholic high school that is reasonably {HA!} priced, and our kids will go there.
Great post! I too had a great experience in school when I look back on it; However, I looking back now with the standards I have now… I would never put my kids in school, even if they were the way they were then. Even though I was one of the “popular” kids elementary school- honestly if I think back to how the kids interacted together, and “socialized”… talk about unhealthy. (And I was hardly one for conflict- just observing/ dodging the bullet)… I graduated school a salutatorian and to give you an idea of their standards of excellence, I managed to get through all my years of school without ever reading a full book all the way through except “All Quiet on the Western Front”… and still managed A+ in Honors English. I hated reading until I was out of college and found the “christian inspiration genre.” My point is that from a “productive” perspective, most schools miss the boat… from an indoctrination perspective, as christians we need to pull our kids out of public schools entirely. From a socialization perspective, I hope my kids do not turn out like the rest of societies children. As christians we are to look different, be a light… not weird, relevant, but a light! THank you for your post- love it!
I was an avid reader way before I got to school, so I always read everything! But speaking to your point, my husband also has his BA in English {although he is writing}. We took a literature class together, and at the 300 level in college he managed to get the highest grade in the class having read ONE book. I sometimes think some people just retain class discussions well enough to be successful.
Or maybe that is just my excuse, because I could never get away with not reading something! 😉
Amen, amen, amen, amen!!!!
I just want to stand and applaud everything about this.
Well thank you!
I second this sentiment!!~ 🙂 🙂
Gina’s, that is.. 😉 🙂
Well put! In fact I was talking to another homeschool mom today who works with school kids in an afterschool program. She commented on this one girl who always looks so miserable. When she questioned the girl, she just said she has bad days at school. What elementary school kid should be that depressed everyday because of school. I loved school also – I used to line up all my stuffed animals, make seating charts and teach them all the time. I honor the teachers who truly care about the well-being of the children they teach. The system makes me sad.
I truly, truly think there are great teachers out there. Ones who are trying to change the system, and I give them so much credit. However, the system is so messed up. No child should grow up hating school or hating learning because of their bad experience!
The ‘ hate school ‘ reason has been pushed by the teachers and those opposed to HS. Not all teachers push it but if you read their ‘union’ pages it is the official stance. Outside the group mentality , individual teachers think HS is the best choice even for their own children(a lot of teachers). I believe it is a wedge put there by outside influences to prevent the two groups from working together and learning from one another. Imagine the power that could be harnessed if we worked together and not in opposing each other. I have too many times heard of PS admins trying to negatively influence parents away from HS,even lie about laws.
I agree, I had mostly good school memories , but in the long run it is not about memories as it is the whole child.
And not all parents can HS, that is why we consider it a choice. I think PS needs to be revamped for the children not for corporate interests. Profit above children is not reform. But until then I’ll keep mine home with no apologies.Six
I agree! Most teachers I know have mixed feelings about homeschool, and I understand why. I do. There are a lot of great teachers out there serving a population that attends public or private school, and they really do care.
Unfortunately, you are right. There is so much push and pull between the different types of education – even beyond homeschooling and public school – that students are the ones losing overall.
I feel the same as you, “I can do better”. Not in a arrogant way, but I love that we can customize our learning and our children have the opportunity to develop their passions!
Great post!! I loved it and feel the same way. I had a great school experience and still choose to homeschooling. My district is way to political besides other reason. Its working out great so far!
Thank you for writing this it makes me so much better about my decision, I too have had the same question and I felt the same way it is not the teachers I have a problem with it is the system. You helped bring me back on track that I made the right choice Thank you