Encouragement Homeschool

3 Easy Ways to Strengthen Your Homeschool Marriage

3 Easy Ways to Strengthen Homeschool Marriage

(stock image photo credit)

In the daily shuffle of a homeschool mom’s life – math, reading, discipline, chores, errands, and more – it’s easy to take our marriages for granted. Our husbands work hard so we can have this cherished time dedicated to our children; they deserve our attention too! Here are a few easy ways to let your husband know he’s appreciated and strengthen your homeschool marriage.

(For all those single homeschooling moms – an extra round of applause to you! You deserve it.)
 

Priorities – According to Him

No matter how hard we try, we can’t do it all. That means we have to choose what goes on the top of the to-do list, and what can wait until tomorrow. We need well laid priorities. But our priorities as a homeschool mom might be vastly different from our husbands’. Ask your husband: “If I can only accomplish TWO household chores a day, what two would you most appreciate?” And put those on the top of the list. This was a lesson I learned the hard way. But it has made the biggest difference in our home.

I love to cook! Early in our marriage, I would spend exorbitant amounts of time cooking elaborate meals for my hubby. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, right? Not necessarily. The way to my man’s heart is an organized home and clean clothes hanging in the closet. My husband will take fish sticks over Beef Wellington any day if it means he doesn’t have to trip over toys or hunt though laundry baskets of clean clothes. What’s important to your husband?

Well Rounded Conversations

Since homeschooling takes a lot of time, effort and planning, we moms can end up wearing “homeschool goggles”. These goggles are big and thick and tinge the entire world around us with learning opportunities. For the most part, that’s a very good thing. However, when we look at the world only through our homeschool goggles, it leaves little else for us to talk about. Our husbands married dynamic women with varied interests. Do you have other interests today? Or have you put yourself in a homeschool box?

I’ll be honest. Lately, I’ve been in a homeschool box. It’s been a busy season of life (and that’s okay!). While my husband hasn’t complained, I noticed our conversations became about three things: kids, homeschool and the latest minor crisis. So I made an effort to take off the goggles and round out our conversations. My husband married a dynamic woman with many interests! I want him to see that part of me, often.

Input – Let Him Have It

Does your husband have input on what or how you’re teaching the children? Even if hubby isn’t involved in the day-to-day schooling, he might have good ideas on how or what to teach! Pick his brain. In general, husbands like to “fix things” and feel valued when they can help. Ask hubby to give you, the teacher, a balanced “report card.” Where do you excel? What have you done well? What needs improvement? Then implement his advice as best you can.

I’ve found, since I’m the main teacher, it’s far too easy for me lose the big picture and get discouraged. My husband however, has a more objective view of our homeschool. He can see when we’re burning out and need more field trips. He’s good at reminding me (when I feel like a failure) that our kids are getting a good education and that character training is worth more than all the long division in the world. What strengths does your husband add to your homeschool?

What easy ways do you let your husband know he’s valuable?

 

You May Also Enjoy These Articles!

Dear Homeschool Mom: How to Love Your Husband While Homeschooling

 

3 Ways to Choose Joy in the Everyday Homeschool

 

10 Simple Ways to Teach Children to Love

 

The Homeschool Marriage: How to Find Time to Date Your Husband

 

Three Secrets for a Hot Homeschooling Marriage

 

About the author

Cheryl P

Cheryl has been homeschooling since 2001. She is currently raising and educating five children (two of whom are her brothers-in-law). Cheryl is an avid social media user with a heart for strong family values and the companies that promote them. Sensing a need to help establish homeschool bloggers online and support family-friendly business, Cheryl created The 2:1 Conference. 2:1 is a faith based conference for homeschooling parents active in social media.

12 Comments

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  • Hubby and I have been going on long walks together. We escape our responsibilities at home and work for an hour and have wonderful conversations. It has been very good for us. We need a little more work on the priorities part and then all the other parts will flow smoother. We have to get things better organized around the house…this will take quite a few chores. I can function much better without the clutter.

    • Eileen, I love going on walks with my hubby. We should do it more often. It’s so nice to get a little exercise and talk without all the interruptions 😉

  • Hi Cheryl,

    Wow! What an eye opening WONDERFUL TIP to ask your husband what two chores are the top of his list. I remember a few years ago my husband said something that I thought was ridiculous about my wifely duties but I have learned to follow. He said “I don’t care of the house looks like a tornado hit it when I get home, so long as you have a glass of tea [sweet iced tea] ready for me when I walk in the door! Nothing drives me more crazy than having no tea made!”

    Who knew? lol

    Again, great tips! Thank you,

    Victoria
    DenSchool

    • Thanks so much, Victoria! That bit of advice was given to me by my homeschool mentor, years ago, and it has made such a difference in our home. I love the sweet tea! Isn’t it amazing what seemingly little things can make such a big difference?

  • Wow. So simple and so inspiring. I’ve definitely had the goggles on. I don’t even know what kind of questions to ask anymore to get a real conversation going. Definitely going to ask about his two priorities. I’m assuming that clean underwear and socks might be in his top two. LOL

    • LOL Mrs. Smith – yes! Years ago, when I was completely disorganized, I’m ashamed to admit how often my husband had to dig through clothes baskets for clean underwear and socks. As for what works to get conversation going, I added a couple news apps to my phone. I never really read the news before, but now when I nurse the baby I’ll read an article or two that looks interesting. That has started lots of good conversations.

  • Great tips, Cheryl! I especially love #1! That is so important. My husband is pretty easy going about most things but if he can’t find a clean pair of socks or has to wait two hours for dinner when he gets home, he can get a little bit aggravated with me. It’s also important to my husband that we carve out some time to get away from the kids’. This is easier for us now since my kids’ are older. It wasn’t so easy when they were young.

    • Thanks Tonya! I love that you know exactly what your husband appreciates (and what makes him crazy lol). Those little bits of information go a long way toward building a strong marriage.

  • Great advice! Husbands (like all humans) want respect, and God knows we women need to remember it. (Ephesians 5:33). How do we show respect? It varies with the couple. I try to run a brush through my hair before my husband gets home, kiss him whenever he leaves or returns, and pay attention when he tells me about his work–even though I’m not an engineer and some of it goes over my head! I try to ask good questions, not to understand all the technical stuff.

    • Great tips, Kathy. I try to look presentable for my husband too, It amazes me how I can get through the day, only to realize I only brushed my hair once…and it’s now a mess 🙂

  • This is great advice. I remember the first year homeschooling. I was so consumed with researching curriculum, lesson plans and the mundane details and tasks surrounding the day that I found myself talking about it NON-STOP. It suddenly came to me that I needed to get out of the box a bit. I know it’s cliche, but date nights are lifesavers. Something to look forward to nearly every week or a couple times a month. It’s so important to have the one-on-on time that belongs to the two of you. Thanks for sharing. 🙂

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