It’s starting to look like a war zone out here. Seriously, if you spend any time in any environment where a diverse group of moms hang out, you will see what I’m talking about…
The Mommy Wars. Moms Shooting from the Hip. And they are shooting AT EACH OTHER!
What is going on?
You can pick practically any parenting topic and you’ll likely find a battle raging somewhere about that topic.
And for us homeschoolers, we get to add in a new battlefield to the ongoing war.
- Homeschool versus Public School at home
- Faith Based curriculum versus Secular
- Packaged curriculum versus picking subjects a la carte
- Text book based delivery versus Digital delivery
- And on, and on, and on…
Even though we have new things to battle over, the war is still the same.
Moms shooting from the Hip.
words. have. consequences.
Speaking before they think.
Or, using the anonymity of being cloaked behind the screen to drop Mom Bombs.
Before they ever even consider what the other person is going through.
Or has been through.
What details they are not privy to.
What a mom’s path, her trials and obstacles, looks like. Because every bit of that is what leads each of us to our own unique, individual decisions.
Do they fully understand what they are doing? I pray they don’t!
The carnage left behind by mom bombs can be devastating… especially to a mom who may be in a fragile state already.
Are we THAT starved for attention?
Maybe we are just THAT Insecure.
I think many of us, although we are strong women who are not afraid to swim upstream, are still insecure, especially when it comes to our families and our homeschools.
Maybe because they are literally linked to our identity.
And, I think if we are honest, it is a relief to see others choosing to do things our way. It is a form of validation that we are doing “it” right.
Finding another mom doing it the same way we are can make us instantly feel a kinship.
And if they are not doing it our way, apparently it can also make us feel the opposite.
We have stumbled upon the enemy.
But why does it have to be that way?
The “Right Choice” is Different for Each Family
Have you ever gotten really upset because you thought your way was the right way (and gasp… possibly even the only right way) to do something?
Did you feel superior?
Chances are you didn’t feel all high and mighty, superior to the rest of us mere mortals, you probably just felt that you were right (and we were wrong).
But I have a thought …
What if we were right too?
Have you ever considered that the “right decision” is different for other families?
Different situations and circumstances may not have the same solution. So it is very possible that there are many “right answers” for most parenting decisions.
There is a Time and Place for the Warrior Mom
There is nothing wrong with being the warrior mom–when appropriate. The mom that goes into full-out battle mode when it comes to protecting your family and your children.
As a matter of fact, I think it is natural.
But if my decisions do not impact or affect your family, why should you go into warrior mom mode?
We have to start understanding boundaries.
Understanding we are impacting other moms negatively.
Have we forgotten we share the ultimate kinship?
Just being Mom.
Knowing the struggles and challenges intimately that each other face.
… you knew the mom you are chatting with on Facebook just lost her sister, would you speak more kindly to her? Would you spend a few more seconds thinking through how to support her?
… you knew she just found out her spouse had been unfaithful? Would you take the time to choose your words more carefully?
… she is a neighbor trying to figure out how to homeschool a difficult child? The very child you were watching from your window earlier today?
… you knew she was simply struggling?
Exactly what circumstances does a person have to go through to illicit a kind and gentle response from us?
What if that person struggling just happened to be you?
What do you have to go through to get me to be gentle with my words?
You have a choice. Your words and your responses are both fully within your control.
I have the same choices.
We must realize the words we choose actually define our identity to the rest of the world.
They define our relationships.
So, which will you choose?
Mom Bomb or Mom Balm?