Finding Homeschool Support
Women need support. We appreciate kind words, good shoes, well-fitting bras, and ice cream when we need to work something out on our own. We will spend hours analyzing the most minute thing ever with a friend just because we need someone to tell us a decision we made was okay.
Homeschooling is no different. Except this time we have to look a little harder to find a friend who is as wonderful as our favorite ice cream.
I live in an area where homeschooling is incredibly popular. Something like 1 out of every 16 families homeschools through at least the fifth grade. Despite apparently being surrounded by homeschoolers I know 3 within 10 minutes. Two of them are teaching preschool/kindergarten, and the other is a seasoned pro teaching high school.
Most of my friends think I’m crazy. They aren’t unsupportive necessarily, but they look at me like I have two heads.
Not too long ago I took a simple child development question to a friend. She used to be a teacher before she became a stay-at-home mom. My question was simple, and it had more to do with child development than education. When I asked her the response she gave me was simple: I know how it is for normal kids, but not homeschool ones.
She really wasn’t trying to be rude or dismissive. Instead, she was trying to tell me that she knew how she would respond to the situation in a classroom, but she couldn’t apply that knowledge to a child being educated at home.
A few days later I posed the question to a friend who homeschools, and her response may have been less fancy but she knew exactly what I meant. Her answer resonated with me, and while I appreciated my first friend’s thoughts, these carried more weight.
The point is that while non-homeschool friends are imperative, because maybe they share your love of The Office or margaritas, we need homeschool friends too. There is something slightly crazy about spending all day with your kids after the infancy/toddler stage to a lot of people. It is something only homeschool parents can understand, because we’ve given up the “normal” way of life for something different.
So how do we meet these homeschool moms? Shockingly, we don’t wear signs around our necks out in public. We look and act just like the moms who send their kids to school! Crazy…I know.
Here are some great ways to meet moms who are like you:
1. Church. Our Church has a huge homeschool population so there are a lot of activities for homeschoolers both within the actual Parish and that parishoners know about in the community.
2. Meetup.com. Have you ever seen this site? It is so cool. You type in where you live and what your interests are, and it generates a list of groups that meet in your area. I’ve used this a few times for various things always with a lot of success.
3. Libraries. Because I live in a city with a lot of homeschoolers, our library is the hot spot for activities and classes. Fulton County {home to Atlanta, Roswell, Alpharetta, and some smaller areas} does an excellent job of proving things for homeschoolers to do from science classes to reading groups.
4. Google. Sometimes you just need to Google it. A quick search for my area pulled up 7 homeschool co-ops and 2 support groups. If you live in a small town you may need to check out the areas around you.
5. Playgrounds. This sounds silly, but how many kids are at the playground in the middle of a Wednesday morning? Probably just ones who are homeschooled. Head to your local playground or park and chat with the other moms.
Share with the Hip Homeschool Moms where you find support whether online or in your local community.
Stephanie and her family live in Roswell, Georgia. Originally from the Northeast, Stephanie ditched snow for sun five years ago and hasn’t looked back. Stephanie loves the kitchen, summer dresses, and a good book. She is also active in Junior League of Atlanta and at her local Catholic Church. Armed with an English degree and a MBA, Stephanie is preparing to homeschool her young son, Samuel. She blogs at The Brunette Foodie.
Love this! My husband met a homeschool family at the playground near our house and they gave us their email b/c they are interested in getting to know other HS families. We are in our 3rd year of HS and still get weird looks when we’re out during “school time” but I don’t bat an eye any longer. There is always some type of learning going on…whether it be at home or on the go….trust me…if we’re out, there is character training in progress, lol.
It is so funny I used to give the stink eye to parents who had their kids out during school hours…until we started talking about homeschooling when Homeslice was a baby. Then it dawned on me…like a big DUH moment!
Great words of encouragement! I totally feel the differences between home educating friends and traditionally schooling friends. It’s hard at times! And with us moving soon {job relocation} thank you for the meetup.com site! I will be checking it out!!! =)
I LOVE Meetup.com. I cannot say enough nice things about it. We used it when we first moved to Roswell from Atlanta in 2010. I mostly use it to find food-related groups, but my husband has had success finding kayaking and outdoors groups as well.
Thank you for this post!! I’m experiencing this dilemma with being a first year Homeschool Mom! In fact, tonight I was in tears trying to explain to my hubbs for the *want* of like-minded friends. My situation in whole seems very different. I am 30 with an almost 6yr old and 8 year old. Most of the people I’m meeting at Homeschool group field trips are at least 10-20 years older. They’re more established and overalll, I just haven’t found the exact support I’m looking for. I will continue praying about it…and hope to make a connection sometime.
Best, AM
I am too. We actually won’t start homeschooling until Fall 2012, but we made the decision when our little guy was just a few months old. It has given me a lot of time to build a few connections.
I didn’t put this in the article, because I know it really depends where you live, but I also suggest homeschool conventions. We have been to 2, and I have met some really lovely people that way.
Great idea article Stephanie. I found most of my HS friends through church. But I have met people at the library too.
Great job, Stephanie! ;0)
I think this sums up alot of us. I have two friends that homeschool and none at our church. This is my biggest struggle. Homeschool communities on blogs is -at the moment the best way to get support besides from my family.
We live in NC in a military community. The homeschool population is huge here! Unfortunately people just are too busy to get together. Well, that’s the way it seems. My daughter has met great friends in co-ops, horseback riding, barnes and noble, in the grocery store in the middle of the day and many other random places. I am not shy! I am a social butterfly and I am pretty sure we are no weirder than the next family 😉 but we find families with boys are more willing to meet up than girls are. I’m am going to try that website you listed. Thanks for this article, I needed it!
I’m a boy mom, and I agree boy moms are easier to make plans with…and I honestly think it is because they are more easily occupied so no thought needs to go into getting them together. Give a boy a stick, and he will play for hours!
I could be wrong though. I have no girls, so ya know…
Oh, thank you. This answers a question I pondered over here: http://getalonghome.com/2011/09/worlds-collide/
Sadly, I STILL have no close homeschool mom friends. They’re all so busy and cliquish that I just can’t get to know very many. I’m also quite a bit poorer than most of the hs’er around here, and they really just can’t join me where I am. We’ve tried, but when you can paper over every problem with money, it’s hard to help a mama on a shoestring. Or hang out with her, because they’re all hanging out at the upscale coffee shop or on field trips that are crazy expensive. The one person I think of as a real friend has high schoolers all the way down to toddlers, and she is just too busy right now. Sigh. Still waiting for a friend out here.
Cindy – we’re having a problem finding local homeschool friends, too. It’s tough because I feel like we’re going it totally alone. I reminder myself we’re clearly not since I can see all kinds of homeschoolers online, but online is different than in real life. So just know we’re still waiting, too.
Becca, I really recommend Meetup.com. I swear they have a group for everything there! If they don’t, you can start the group, and people will find it and join. I don’t believe there is a fee for starting a group.
This also reminds me (sorry for the multiple comments) of something that I saw on Facebook yesterday. A homeschool mom I don’t know very well mentioned that she was having one of “those days”. You know, the ones where we all wonder if everybody is right and our kids would be better off without us teaching them. Instead of offering prayers and encouragement, all her “friends” started encouraging her to QUIT and do something more conventional. I told ’em to hush. I probably shouldn’t have done that, but what a crappy thing to do! You see someone having a rough time and start showing them how to get out of it instead of encouraging them to succeed? We need homeschool mom support, if only because other parents truly have NO idea how important homeschooling is to most of us.
I think this is VERY common. It is that “unsupportive support” that women give each other in a multitude of situations – education, dating, the newborn stage… When we don’t have constructive advice to give instead of keeping our mouths shut we sometimes default to what we know.
I happen to find myself in a unique situation , I homeschool my son who is ADHD and Dyslexic since last January 2011, he’s now in 2nd grade. My littlest is in 1st grade and she is attending public school(undetermined if we will make that move with her yet) and the big one is in her junior year (she is almost done)of high school. I was blessed by my church family to introduce the idea of homeschooling to me.. Here in the area of NY that we live in,(is 95% Catholic and they don’t homeschool) EVERY one is public, or private and homeschooling here is unheard of.. OUr group consist of 30 or so families and each family has multi children all ages, they have been a God send to me, help guiding me through the basics.. Currently I happen to be the only special needs homeschooler with the group but another mom who daughter is turning 4 is autistic and she jokes, how I am paving the way for other special needs families to homeschool(do and donts ), programs to look into-etc.. What I love, is that they except my son, with no issues; all the children are so loving, he isn’t bullied anymore and has gain self-confidence.. The group embraces my other children, even though they aren’t homeschooled, we have been blessed by them.. Outsiders, such as family or friends don’t get “homeschooling”.. They question , when is he going back- etc… but friends that see a difference in my son, they say he’s blossomed and he’s talking to everyone- they cant believe it..
Kellymarie, may I suggest starting a group for special needs homeschoolers? Meetup.com lets you set up groups for I believe no fee. You may be shocked to find there are more special needs students without groups, because their parents feel out of the loop or anxious about joining a group. Sometimes we need to pave the way to the friends we want to find!
@Stephanie , Thanks I will look into that.. I lack self confidence because we have only been homeschooling for the last year and I am still figuring out and looking for different types of programs that are best suited for my sons needs. But I am going to look into that.. Thanks again.. Kelly
HSLDA is another great place to find larger support groups in your area.
We have a large home school community in Rhode Island. The state-wide organization we belong to started a Facebook group this year. It has REALLY become popular. Moms post field trip admission deals, questions, and curriculum recommendations; anything goes as long as it’s HS related. It’s great because I have access to over a hundred different moms in my area that homeschool just like I do.
Nice article (as always!) I never thought of Meetup – that’s some great advice.
I have another one I’ll add to the list: I was surprised to see that our local YMCA offers homeschool support. I don’t know if all or most YMCAs do, but I thought that was a wonderful thing.
Hi, I am new to this site, but I would like to ask is there a specific article about why you decided to homeschool, that clearly states things like “this drew the line”? I am still young (19), but I’ve been to a couple of HS sites and the are somehow “attractive” as ideas. I absolutely adore teaching… and have thought of it and am still thinking of it as a career (first semester of university), but would LOVE to spend my days with my kids, teaching them the way I believe is right (note: I am neither married nor have kids…. yet)… especially after I have seen how bad public school and even private schools are. So… any advice? 🙂 It really scares me to even think about the sacrifices that I would have to make to be able to be a homeschool mom. Anybody here homeschools AND works?? My current program is medicine right now… so you see why it is hard to bring both together… and studying 11 years for medicine isn’t something I am willing to do and end up not working the job! Aaaaah so scary!
Here is my blog and I have a couple of posts about how I got started. It may at least help point you in the right direction. My aunt homeschools and works and it is working well, though this is her first year and my cousin is in middle school. I don’t personally know anyone who homeschools and works with younger ones, but I think if you have a supportive spouse or others who are supporting you it would be worth looking into. It is a HUGE sacrifice for moms and is a primarily thankless job. But believe me, you will be working if you chose to make that sacrifice! I worked in the corporate world prior to having my children for many years and was in management. I work harder on any given day of homeschool than I ever did in the corporate world! But it is SO worth it!
http://rcobb-family.homeserver.com/blog
When I first started home schooling the support from the community was nil. However, my husband and I were blessed with a Mother who was available to help out while we worked full time. We had a very unstructured schedule for the children and they all grew up to be awesome! Two of them have gone on to college, one Doctor and the other soon to be a Doctor. The third child is self educated and works in the computer tech. fields as a project manager. So, it can be done and the results are Awesome! Good luck have fun and remember why you are doing this.
One of the easiest ways I found to get in touch with other Moms, when I was home schooling, was to go to the 4-H meetings with my children. These Moms were already involved in their children’s lives and were interested in what my kids were doing. Some of them eventually joined by pulling their children out of the public school. Get creative if you can’t get in touch with other home school people. Reach out into Cub Scouts, 4-H, Girl Scouts or Blue Birds. All of them are about people helping their children be better socialized in a controlled environment.
Stephanie ~ I don’t live too far from you and we are blessed that homeschooling is so popular here. I think it takes time to become connected. It has taken us nearly 3 years to be fully plugged in, and it has been a complete friend shift for me (my kids went to Public school for a few years).
I enjoyed your article – all good thoughts!
Thank you! I totally get this! I was homeschooled as a child and now I homeschool my children. In the beginning, I didn’t have all the questions because the younger kids are fairly easy. The hardest part is learning how they learn best. Once you figure that out and they start getting into more meatier subjects, that’s where the questions and decisions come in where you really need a sounding board. I know several families that homeschool but most of us are on the same year of homeschool, our kids are the same age. Thank you for the great ideas for finding other moms to befriend!
State Home School Associations are very helpful in finding home educators near by. They can help find co-ops and organize field trips with others. The one in Florida is FPEA