What’s Love Got to Do with It?

I watched my boys and three of their close-enough-to-be-cousins friends, picking at a bowl full of conversation hearts last week.

Shrieks of laughter, along with commentary on the message each piece of candy bore, filled the air for several minutes, as they attempted to piece together things that made sense.

I couldn’t help but think that from time to time, this is certainly me where the choice to educate my children “at home” is concerned.

Like the photo above, things tend to get a bit blurry along the way, and don’t necessarily make perfect sense.

A sermon I heard recently produced a lot of food for thought along these lines.

Tina Turner asked us, while belting out in her powerful raspy voice during the 1980’s, what love had to do with a lot of things.

Apparently, it was a resonate chord (pun intended) with both Americans as well as Europeans; as the song went to the top of the charts.

Part of the challenge for us as Americans, is that we have only one word for love.

For example, I love my new shoes, my home, the new shade of lipstick I snatched up at the MAC counter, and on and on. I can transfer that same exuberance of statement, in just a matter of moments to a human being!

The Hellenistic Greeks on the other hand, had it “goin’ on.” While stories abound of their lavish lifestyle, flamboyant beliefs, and ultra quick minds and creations; I have to hand it to them. They took the time to clarify love on at least four different levels.

Looking at them has helped me to strengthen my resolve in many areas, including the commitment to home educate.

There is, of course, EROS love. It is a passionate love, often with physical attraction attached.

In thinking back to the early days of my illustrious home education career, I certainly expressed this kind of love! I was passionate, attracted to 7,543 different options, methodologies, and possibilities…anxious to get started! And depth? Well, how could there really be any just yet?!

Another type of love that isn’t talked about nearly as much, is STORGE. This involves familial affection or the love of a parent for child, teacher for student. (The last part of that statement could be pushing it!)

Then there’s PHILIA. This love includes everything we, well, love! It’s about friends, loyalty to them, family and community with those who have similar values to our own. I imagine that it’s all things co-op and play dates, and encompasses fun, social, and “hip” activities; because it includes the input, feedback, and camaraderie of others. I’m comfortable in this. In fact, I could camp here a good long time! It doesn’t necessarily call me to change, rub me the wrong way, or most importantly….inconvenience me. The magic phrase “with those who have similar values to our own” indicates that. “Woo-HOO!”, exclaims the sluggish, often lazy side of me, looking to relax.

But, God, in His infinite wisdom, is looking for us to experience yet a different kind of love…the AGAPE kind. This love is unconditional. It completes. And, (gulp), it also possesses the highest resolve. It’s coupled and dependent upon personal choice. You know what I mean. It’s the love that looks beyond “you-kept-me-up-all-night-puking-and feel-fine-during-the-daylight-hours” love. It’s love that looks at that concept or lesson, instead of plucking my own eyes out so I get a pass to not continue on “just one more time!” This love listens to the same 5 sentences over and over, delivered in a robotic tone, void of any punctuation, and still acts interested! It’s a love that inexplicably stays up half of the night, hammering out an unresolved issue with the teen son or daughter who is in emotional angst. Did I mention, that same love gets up the next morning and continues on. Yeah, I think I did.

See, this form of love is all about choice and perseverance, regardless of what you believe your calling to be. No matter what definition of love is shouted at us from the roof tops of society; real true love perseveres and realizes that it honestly isn’t about being attracted to someone or something. It’s about the choice involved to go deep, go wide…go further.

Even, dear moms, if that involves doing so one step at at time.

Because in the end…love has everything to do with it!

Teri is a believer in God, family, community, and lover of leadership education the Thomas Jefferson way. Teri writes and also speaks about lessons learned on her educational journey with 5 rambunctious sons, ages 22 down to 9, one hero Hubby, and celebrating day to day life with lots of humor, within the human race. You can find Teri blogging at Tommy Mom.

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5 Comments

  1. what a great post Teri. We all need to open our eyes to the broader sense of the word and the different levels. Especially for those of us who have preteens in our homes who are just starting to notice the opposite sex and are confused about how that makes them feel…

  2. Thanks Terri! Agape love really is the glue that will hold the homeschooling family together. There is so much giving, so much self sacrifice needed. Our culture is quick to forget that love is a choice to persevere.

  3. This is so true! I am blessed, to have the love and support of my family as well. We have three homeschooling sisters and one brother that has an infant child (he is not there yet). Our parents are so supportive of us, girls as well as our husbands. We were not homeschooled as children, and found this path on our own. It makes me laugh to think about it.

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