How Independent Should Your Homeschooler Be?
Do you ever wonder if your homeschooled child is independent enough with his or her school work? I know I’ve been through times when I felt like I was doing more of the work than my children were doing! There have been other times when I felt like I wasn’t helping them enough and was expecting too much independence from them. So how is a mom supposed to know where the “correct” balance is? Unfortunately, there is not a simple answer. Take heart, though! There are some ways you can assess how much independence you should require from your children.
Once a particular child is a good reader, you can begin having her do one subject each day with your supervision but limited instruction. For some students, this may occur as young as 2nd or 3rd grade. Others may take a year or two longer. If you wish, you may choose to give limited instruction at the beginning of the lesson and then let her complete the lesson on her own. This will largely depend on what kind of curriculum you are using with that child. Choose a subject that she does well and hopefully one that she enjoys. Be available to help or answer questions if she asks for it, but try to resist the urge to offer assistance otherwise. If she does well, you’ll know she is ready to begin to be more independent. If that is the case, you might want to continue having her do this one subject independently for a week or even several weeks before moving on toward more independence. If she does not do well or has to repeatedly ask you for help, then you probably need to give her a few more weeks or months to mature before trying it again.
Once your child can do a single subject relatively independently, you may want to move on to the next step. This could include simply adding another independent subject, or if you think he is ready, it could include adding two or more independent subjects. I tried to move slowly with this since I didn’t want my children to suddenly feel abandoned! Most children, though, will enjoy this new freedom and will be happy to have more control over their school work!
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One important thing to remember during this entire process is that, whether they ask for it or not and whether they admit it or not, our children generally want to know that they are accountable to us and that we are closely monitoring their work. If they think we are no longer interested in their work, they may become lazy and unmotivated. Be sure to let your child know that you are still concerned with him and his work and that you will be checking on him and his progress daily or weekly. This will also help ensure that he continues to handle his new responsibilities well.
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Another reasonable step in this process could be allowing your child to make (either independently or with your help) her own schedule for her work. She might want to do math 3 days a week and history 5 days a week. She might want to do each subject every day. Allow her to become more responsible for the planning portion of her school work as well as the execution. This is a skill that she will definitely need as she grows older and has her own family!
One final point to remember is that, if your child begins doing his work independently and then gets lazy, it is important to let him suffer the consequences! As adults, we suffer from our mistakes, and our children need to learn this while they’re young! It is a good idea to agree upon this consequence ahead of time.
The road to independence can be difficult, but it can also be exciting! If you follow these steps, keep your children accountable, and allow reasonable consequences, your children will be independently doing their work in no time!
NOTE: The top photo shows my 9-year-old daughter, Mary Grace. She does some work with me, but she is learning to do more of her work independently. The second photo is my 14-year-old son, Noah. He does his school work independently. The last photo is my 16-year-old daughter, Hannah, along with her helper, Sherlita. Hannah, because she has autism, requires total one-on-one help when she does her work.
Wendy has been married to Scott, her high school sweetheart, for more than 20 years. They have 3 wonderful children: Hannah, Noah, and Mary Grace, who have all been homeschooled from the beginning. Wendy is a stay-at-home, work-from-home mom. She blogs at Homeschooling Blessings.
I often question the independence issue. My daughter is in 7th grade, and we just started doing more fully independent work in 6th grade. In 2nd and 3rd grade, I was pretty much right there beside her the whole time (maybe short trips to the kitchen, for example). Independence is certainly a goal of homeschool, but like potty training and reading, it’s something we don’t need to RUSH. Instead, we make small forward motions and see how the child responds. If an elementary child is ready, he will relish the independence. If he’s not, he will perform poorly with it — distracted, for example. But by middle school we really should nudge towards independence. IT’s a transitional stage with one step forward and two steps back (at least in my experience). High school should be mostly independent.
Yes, Jimmie, you are right! My 9-year-old daughter is capable of doing most of her work independently already. Her older brother was not anywhere near being independent when he was her age. We homeschool moms need to keep in mind that different children are able to become independent at different ages. Thanks for your response!
I feel like I ask myself this question all the time!
I know, Jennifer! It’s not always easy to know when a child is ready to be independent! It will happen eventually. 🙂
Accountability is the key word there. I have 2 high school age, who are pretty much 95% independent in their studies. That, however, does not mean I’m not 100% involved and checking in on them daily. I found out quickly that if I stop checking, they stop working! 🙂 I think everyone works better with timelines, and accountability. It encourages us to pursue excellence. Great post!
Totally agree with Karen!! My 14 year old is very dependable .. as long as she knows I”m going to be checking her work every day or two. If I have a rough week and can’t get to checking on her progress .. I find over the weekend that she’s a couple days (or more) behind!
Thanks, Karen! It is very important to check our children’s work no matter what age those children are! You are certainly correct about that! It provides motivation and accountability too–both very important factors.
Independence definitely depends on the child. My 6 yr old does a great job of staying focused and getting his work done without me nearby. My 8 yr old on the other hand could watch grass grow instead of getting his work done! I’ve learned offering an incentive for when the work is completed helps my oldest guy stay on task most of the time.
Yes, offering an incentive does help! My children are required to finish their school work before they can have time to play, do crafts or hobbies, read books for fun, etc. I do allow them to take breaks now and then during school, but I encourage them to go outside, get a snack, or other such activities at those times. Projects and activities that take more time and things they want to do just for fun usually have to wait until school work has been completed.
I feel like my 4th graders COULD be more independent, but don’t want to. They’re boy / girl twins. Sometimes I feel like their reluctance to work independently is more for attention than actually not knowing! Has anyone else felt this way? )
I’m excited about checking out your blog and hearing more about your homeschool. This is my second year homeschooling but it’s my first year to bring home my 7 year old who has an ASD diagnosis. I’m eager to read more! Thanks for posting this!