The Blessing of Community

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It’s the time of year when we count our many blessings. Being people who live in the United States, regardless of where we live or how much we have; compared to the rest of the world, we are a wealthy people. As families fortunate to have the ability to home educate our children, I think it is often easy to overlook one of the greatest blessings available to us; that of community. My thoughts today center around a couple of questions. Are we utilizing community to reach our fullest potential? and Do we invest in this diverse and vast resource the way each of us can and should? I hope today’s input gives each of us cause to consider what we need to do in order to improve what we currently have and make it even better!

I joke quite a lot about being the “old lady” on the Hip Homeschool Moms team. The reality is, compared to some of these darling, young things, I am approaching the age of dirt itself! Couple that with the fact that I have, in December, officially home schooled for 23 years and am still going strong, I hopefully have the makings of someone that has learned a few things along the way. Sadly, at times, those lessons were internalized the hard way. Hopefully, you won’t have to experience some of mine through personal hard knocks.

You see, community is something that doesn’t just “arrive” in someone’s life. Regardless of what topic or social genre we are referring to, it is pretty much a given that community is built very carefully one individual and one shared experience at a time. “Back in the day” ( quite possibly near to the time we were walking 5 miles to school in the snow…one way), the internet honestly wasn’t readily available as an option for building relationships. Moms beginning their own family home education journeys today are really, really blessed with infinite opportunities to network, build friendships, and learn from others. It’s interesting though, that in the midst of a huge social shift to technologies, there are still many, many things about building and maintaining community that are not only tried and true; but will serve you quite well to practice and ponder for yourself, if you want to be a dynamic contributor as well as receiver of blessings.

I’m going to list a few of them for ease and clarity.

1. Don’t be the individual that is quick to be the expert. I was reading on a board just last week where a mom expressed genuine concern about an issue that her family had experienced with local authorities. While it was intended as well-meaning, an individual chimed in hastily and said, “You simply don’t need to pursue (thus and such) I will show you what you need to do.” Yikes! It serves as a great reminder that God gave you your kids, placed them in your family, and allowed you to parent. That, thankfully, doesn’t involve the entire home school community world-wide. Give advice when it is genuinely solicited. Give assistance and encouragement even more. Strive to be the real expert at home first, where the relationships you build and the interactions you share have the greatest impact you will ever have the opportunity to experience.

2. Go the extra mile in giving someone else the benefit of the doubt. One of the things that is very challenging within social media, is the lack of ability to see into a person’s eyes or to hear the intonation and tone of their voice. It serves everyone well when we always think the best of others. Perhaps you are having a bad day, and I’m having an even worse one! ( Been there, done that!) Knowing that each individual contributing comments, asking questions, and participating on Hip Homeschool Moms “gets it” can be a comforting thing; even strictly from a numbers standpoint! Again, be quick to encourage and slow to criticize.

3. Encourage with what you know, and learn from what you don’t. I was stunned to read in my own home school community newsletter years ago ( printed on paper and mailed, believe it or not) an article entitled ” The Merits of Clean Baseboards.” I blinked, thinking that I had gone blind! The writer of said article had one child. The average number of children per family in this group was 4.5 ( low balling, actually). This came at a time in my life where there were days that I honestly needed a canoe, a priest, and a Buddhist monk; along with prayer and fasting, just to make it from the front door to the back bedrooms of my house! If I could see the baseboards, while my children hung from my being, I felt lucky! I want to say, that while there is nothing wrong with having one child, the point was that we would all look far wiser if we addressed things we really knew well, while considering the audience that would be reading! Have you ever noticed how quiet you get once you have to live something that was once a great theory and a topic you thought you’d mastered? Exactly. You will never see me talk about specifically raising girls, even though I happen to be one. I’ll leave that to people that are living and doing it.

4. Celebrate the diversity you are so easily accessing, and avoid “Westminster Abbey” syndrome. Online communities have the ability to provide incredible diversity! Part of the joy of being with my children day in and day out, is the ability to experience so many different things with them. People, their beliefs, ideas, and worldviews have the ability to enhance these experiences! What better way for your children to experience the real world around them, than with you right beside them? Our family is blessed to have people of many faiths, worldviews, races, and life experiences all around us. I want my children to have the opportunity to know them; rather than to be individuals that only know one culture, one ideology, one faith. Notice I didn’t say that I didn’t want them to own each of these things, based on what our particular family stands for. Quite the contrary. I have done this work and continue to invest in my children, in order for them to engage the culture with faith, thoughts, and ideologies that are sound and strong. Merely exposing them to one thought process and the same “dishes at the local potluck supper” doesn’t produce this. People that are conservative challenge me to reign it in and give me reasons why. People that are liberal have taught me many things about social justice, serving others, when it’s right to “take up a cause”, and how to loosen up when I need to. Other faiths have taught me deeper truths within my own and why I believe what I believe, with an answer ready for anyone who asks. So…what about Westminster Abbey?

Sadly, this incredible structure, has all but lost its original intent and effectiveness. It was, at one time, first and foremost a church. However, today, it represents an iconic thought process that held resolutely to the viewpoint that its methodology, belief system and rituals were the right way to think and act. In fact, it is more or less a museum and tourist attraction, with people buried there today that opposed everything it stood for, practiced and taught for all of those years! Odd to consider, isn’t it? And yet, the very thing that killed its effectiveness was the rigid, narrow-minded, we’ll-never-do-it-that-way thought process. Heaven forbid that an opportunity as great as we share here should ever go a direction such as that!

Take some final advice from an old-but-hip lady, will you? There are definitely hills worth dying on. Choose them wisely. Hint: Whether someone sees your curriculum as practically perfect, or one of the questions innocently asked by the moderator-of-the-day here on Hip Homeschool Moms wouldn’t be optional choices! If in doubt, refer to the suggestions above.

Relax! Take a deep breath! You literally have thousands of experts here at your disposal, all from different walks of life and experiences, who are moms-in-the-daily trenches! Dig in and learn from what you see talked about here. Challenge some of your own mindsets. Be open to change when you need it. If each of us commits to these things, community can’t help but thrive. Why not pause and give thanks for this blessing? Because Hip Homeschool Moms is certainly a great one!

Teri is a believer in God, family, community, and lover of leadership education the Thomas Jefferson way. Teri writes and also speaks about lessons learned on her educational journey with 5 rambunctious sons, ages 22 down to 9, one hero Hubby, and celebrating day to day life with lots of humor, within the human race. You can find Teri blogging at Tommy Mom.