I Homeschool to Protect My Children from the World’s Standards
I homeschool to protect my children from the world’s standards. I just said that out loud… well, I typed it, and I’m sure I’ll get some grief over it. But it is fact, and I know many of us homeschool for this very reason. So I’m going to just own it. I do shelter my children and try to protect them from the world’s standards.
Public School Socialization
As homeschoolers, we constantly hear how our children won’t be socialized. Well, I’ll be honest, that is the entire point of why many of us homeschool. Okay, maybe not the ENTIRE point, but one of the big points.
I was raised in the public school system. And I know what I was exposed to and what I exposed others to, to be perfectly honest. I’ll just keep it real … I’m protecting my boys from girls like I was.
Surprised?
Don’t be. I have a history, and it is not one I’m terribly proud of. My mother didn’t want another child… and it was obvious. I looked for love in all the wrong places. And made some huge mistakes. I would spend the night with one of my best friends so I could experience the thrill of sneaking out. And what did I do when I was out? Got in even more trouble.
So yes, I am protecting my children from what I personally experienced and all the public school system of socialization has to offer.
I don’t want any part of that kind of socialization for my children.
If you are worried about socialization, there are so many ways to help your children make friends. Follow their interests. If they love soccer, join community soccer programs. If they love dance, enroll them in lessons. If they are creators, get them involved in maker and artistic communities locally. Honestly, we find the moms need socializing more than the children!! 🙂 You might consider joining us for one of our Homeschool Road Trips. 4 days/3 nights of homeschool education and adventures! Click here to see the ones we are currently accepting registrations for.
God Has a Sense of Humor, I’m Sure of It!
Let me share the irony, after my above confession. My oldest son is dating a girl from- wait for it –public school. And honestly, she is precious. Her mom is as fiercely protective as any mama bear I have ever seen. And, ironically, her brother is homeschooled. So please don’t get me wrong… I don’t dislike the kids in public schools or private schools. But there is plenty that I don’t like about the public school system:
I don’t like what they teach.
I don’t like how they teach it.
I don’t like what they use to teach.
I don’t like the bullying.
I hate the fact that God is banned from their campuses.
I don’t like what children are not just exposed to, but almost indoctrinated in…
Sex.
Drugs.
Drinking.
Rebellion.
No thanks.
My kids are not perfect but they are not dabbling in any of those, thank you. They are perfectly normal, partially sheltered, faithful homeschooled boys. And I am very proud of the young men they are becoming. If you asked them, I can guarantee you they would attribute some of that to being homeschooled. Some to their faith. And some to who they are and what they want to do with their lives and having the right priorities (most of the time).
So if anyone is making you feel guilty or second-guess your decision over this whole socialization conversation …
Don’t give in.
Don’t allow others to have any say or control over your parenting decisions.
Children are little for such a short while.
No, we can’t shelter them their entire lives. We know they will one day grow up and be exposed to the onslaught of the world’s standards. But that attack will come after we have given them a firm foundation. So teach them diligently, moms and dads. Give them the emotional and spiritual tools and a strong foundation in your faith that they will need to go out into this vast chaotic and lost world.
Give them what they need to help them navigate through the world’s landmines, and then watch them thrive because they were properly prepared to make good decisions and to stand up for what they believe in. You won’t regret the time you spent sheltering your children and giving them a firm foundation for living in and being a light to the world.
Is protecting your children from the world’s standards one of your reasons for homschooling too? Share your reasons with me in a comment!
Trish this is one of the best articles I have read in a long time. You were so honest and raw and I love that. I could not have said that any better. Thank you for this
Thanks for that Lindsay!! Appreciate you and how encouraging you always are! Bless you mama!!
This is exactly how many of us feel…and feel like we can not say it. When someone asks me why I homeschool, this is what I want to say, but I know how explosive it would be if I said it. Well done!
Thanks Kim! I know… I really want to encourage all of us homeschool moms to remember that God calls us to be different. To stand out. To not fit in. To be peculiar and to not look like the world and love the things the world loves. Instead to love what God loves and hate what God hates. I appreciate the encouragement.
I just tell people that I don’t trust the government with my money, let alone my children.
Yes! I totally agree with you on this. I am new to homeschooling, my boys are 6,4, and 2. I love to read the blogs of other homeschooling moms and I enjoyed reading a little about you. Thanks! 🙂
Thanks Sarah!! I have three boys also and they are that close in age too!! But mine are now 18, 16 and 14. The days seem long but the years fly by!! So glad you are starting the homeschool journey! You won’t regret it!!
My husband and I and our public schooled child are proof that your child can both get the most academically and socially out of public school and avoid the things most parents are afraid of in public schools: drinking, drugs, early sexual experimentation. And in our experience she is not an exception. It’s called communicating every day with your child about your expectations for her and modeling your expectations constantly, limiting use of social media and other negative influences whether it’s popular or not, and really paying attention to what’s going on in the world of young people today It can be done, but a lot of parents I have known are too afraid to investigate and say no. It takes time, patience, and energy, but can be done. I think parents should do what’s right for their child and family, but it is just as annoying for me to hear about the (exaggerated) horrible state of public schools as it is for homeschooling parents to be criticized for their choices.
Why not be honest about your concerns about your children in today’s world? Public school parents worry about the same things.
I think I was honest about my concerns… that was the entire point of the article.
As a former public school teacher who taught in one of the best schools in our county, I can vouch for what Trish is trying to say. Especially in high school, children are being brainwashed to believe liberal policies that only favor the state and not individual thought. I was one of maybe 3 teachers who were outwardly conservative. I would get in trouble for talking about the negative effects of Obama’s policies while the liberal teachers got free reign to speak negatively about Christianity (or as the history teacher liked to put it, the “flying spaghetti monster”). Never would he get in trouble. I was called into the office several times because I did not agree with the state’s ideas of progressive policies. Many students would come to me and tell me how a few particular teachers would try to talk them out of having faith in God. It’s a sad state of affairs and having been on the inside for several years, would never subject my daughter to the public school teachings. It’s a different world from when we grew up in times when a moment of silence was allowed every morning and parents supported the teachers instead of their children, who were allowed to run amok. Thankfully there are great parents like you who stay involved in their children’s lives. But that is no longer the norm as moms go to work all day and family divorce rates climb.
Thanks Laura for your insight! It is indeed a different school system than we grew up in (and that school system back then was not all that great).
Trish great article. I started working with homeschool families when I was in grad school studying theology. I still work with homeschool families today. I get conflicted and maybe you can help me. How does protecting us from the world standards impact our evangelism and call to go into the world and change it? If the Holy Spirit lives in us doesn’t that mean the world can’t influence us ? Just curious . Loved that article and your deep convictions! Very nice work!
Thanks for visiting our website Steven. I agree with you 100% … when referring to adults. The Bible tells us to teach our children diligently … not outsource that responsibility to anyone. Look at how many children lose their faith when they go off to college. I would venture to say it is because they don’t have that firm foundation laid before they are exposed to the world’s standards. I don’t condemn families for sending their children to school. That is a choice they make and I pray that they are doing the very best they can for their children. So no condemnation from us. But the argument about being salt and light does not hold water when you look in Scripture. I don’t see one single passage that calls children into the mission field at a young age. They are not even counted in the census until they are 20 (Numbers 1:3). Verses about teaching our children well: Proverbs 1:8-9; Deuteronomy 6:7; Ephesians 6:1-4; Deuteronomy 11:18-19; Titus 2 and many more. I appreciate your thoughtful question and pray that you see my heart and desire to respond honestly about why I feel so strongly about homeschooling. Blessings~
This is so well put. I hope the gentleman came back to read your response.
Thank you Laura! I don’t know if he did or not. But he never responded if he did.
Great question and response. I used to feel that if we took our children out of PS who would be there as the light. As I matured and had children in school I started digging in more and found that we can’t send children into the fight and expect them to come home unscathed. We must lay a truly strong foundation on which they can stand and that takes time and more than Sunday School can provide.
Exactly Kelley!!
This is very well said. I struggle with trying to explain my reasons to friends and family and it always comes out wrong. Btw first time commenting on a online post about an article ever. I’m going to save and use this as my motivation!
Thank you so much! We’re so glad you commented! And we’re so glad to be an encouragement to you. 🙂
Janelle!! I feel so honored to be the first post you ever commented on!! Thank you! You know sometimes it feels like we are writing and it evaporates into thin air because readers don’t realize how much it means to us to get feedback! So thanks for just stepping out there and commenting!! And thanks for your support and kinds words about my article. You know when you open up your own history and share something so personal… you feel really vulnerable!! I’m glad you are here and a part of our community!
Yes! This is what I WANT to say. Who cares if I’m trying to shelter them from the world!? God put them in my care and He won’t hold responsible all the naysayers for how my kids turned out. We’ve enjoyed the benefits of both homeschool and public school for our eldest, and both my husband and I were public schooled. We live in a very rural area and when we sent our son to public school for first grade, the strongest thing he learned was NOT academic. In 2 months he learned “every man for himself” when at home we were teaching, “put others first”. He went from playing with his little sister and helping her to calling her “stupid” and wanting to fist fight her. We are still (3 years later) overcoming some of the regular, everyday public school stuff.
For the gentleman who commented: thank you for an honest request for information. Us homeschoolers aren’t often given that opportunity but are immediately met with criticism from friends and family. As far as the Holy Spirit living in us…Praise God for that! Unfortunately, I still get “the world“ on me from living in it, and I have been a Christian for 20 years. For a child (Christian or not) who spends 8 hours a day with people who aren’t like-minded and only get 3 hours with family if they go to after-care, my heart breaks. If you’re someone who sends your child to public school and your influence has remained greater than the world’s, that is AWESOME! I’d love to hear how you do it. I don’t believe all Christians should homeschool. It’s not for everyone. To be honest, many days I’d like to send mine to a teacher. But, the academic standard is important too. My 3rd grader was telling my husband about Joseph Stalin the other day, from a children’s book he picked up at the library. And he’s not socially awkward either. We regularly get compliments for how well our children behave, interact with others, respond to authority, and how smart they are. I’m not saying this to brag but to remind myself why I homeschool. Many days it is a struggle, but it something we feel very strongly about. It would be easy to send them to school (and I threaten it), but homeschool is SO rewarding!! Also, the easiest thing is not usually the best thing. Childhood passes so quickly and won’t slow down just because mother doesn’t have time.
My oldest 2 love to learn and I can witness the unique interests God has given each. A love for learning is not something you can pick up from public school, no matter how hard you try.
Thanks Candace for taking the time to reply!! I am closing in on the end of my homeschooling career. I have an 18 year old who is doing a gap year this year (but still doing dual enrollment) and going to Israel. A 17 year old who is a senior and will do a gap year too. And a 14 year old who just entered high school. Time does not slow down! I already miss them and they are still here.
As a homeschooler, several public school moms have approached me inquiring about homeschooling their highschooler. They have told me how their kids are frustrated with the public school system classroom environment. I have heard from several moms how during class kids are dancing on the tables, throwing things, on their phones, talking, and the teacher has no control of the classroom. One mom told me how her daughter used her cell phone to record what her classes were like. She told her mom that school was a waste of her time. Many parents also complained that sex in the bathrooms is a huge problem. One told me that her son walked in on kids having sex. My nephew said that he was offered drugs numerous times while at school. Our city has about 60,000 people and is a nice place to live. I can only imagine what is happening in larger cities.
It’s heartbreaking isn’t it?!!
How can I homeschool my four beautiful children when my husband refuses to allow me to do so? As a result, they are being bullied and brainwashed, and it kills me each day that a stranger is spending more time with them than I am. I cry all the time. I’m unsure as to why God won’t soften my husband’s heart about this. He’s not though, and my oldest is now in fourth grade. ?
I hope this article will be helpful to you. https://hiphomeschoolmoms.com/if-your-husband-doesnt-support-your-desire-to-homeschool/
Love this so much. It’s so nice to know there are other people in the world with standards. Thanks for all you do to support this community.
Julie! Thank you so much for your encouragement!! (((HUGS)))
Thank you, Trish, for every word you wrote in this post. I was “that girl” too. I am not proud of it, and it makes me sad when I think about it. I didn’t have the home support, and went looking for love in all the wrong places too. BUT… Praise God I’m not that same person! My past was a contributing factor for our choice to homeschool. We had a handful of other reasons, but it did play a role. This is our 13th year homeschooling. I have three fabulous children and one of them is graduating this year. Again, thank you. (Btw…I’ve never told this to anyone before. I’ve never felt like anyone else would get it. )
Melissa, Thank you so much for commenting! I was a little scared to put it out there too. But it is the truth, and if you read the other comments, you will see we are not alone! Yes, praising God right along side of you… a new creation indeed!
2 Corinthians 5:17 Complete Jewish Bible 17 Therefore, if anyone is united with the Messiah, he is a new creation — the old has passed; look, what has come is fresh and new!
I am sitting over here bawling because I have felt WAY TOO MUCH pressure from people about my decision to homeschool. I have a three year old little girl and a 1 year old boy. I am almost afraid to tell people I want to homeschool, because I don’t want them to judge me anymore. I have a few supporters in my family, but the majority of them always ask, “what about socialization?” My public school experience wasn’t bad, but it definitely wasn’t great. Thank you so much for posting this! You made me feel like a better mom for wanting to do this. You gave me that little push I needed to stick to my guns and do what I believe is right.
April, I promise, you won’t regret homeschooling. You are your children’s only advocate. NOBODY is more interested in the success of their children than you are! (Dad is usually a very close second). NOBODY wants to help them reach their potential the way their mom does. Seriously! It is such a blessing… follow your mom instinct and don’t let their opinions govern your choices. Moms really do know what is best for their own children. Hugs!! If you need encouragement, be sure to join our community on Facebook. We have 33,000+ moms in there helping each other on this homeschool journey! https://www.facebook.com/groups/HipHomeschoolMomsCommunity/
Thanks so much for sharing this! I have never seen anyone say this out loud. I was “that girl” too, just riding the wave of what the schools/culture told me I should be doing… incidentally, we were forced to homeschool b/c my husband lost his job at a Christian school where our kids used to attend tuition free. But I have never looked back, and your post helped crystallize in my mind why. We had both worked in the public schools before we had kids and knew we didn’t want them there. It’s discouraging to my kids, though, how many Christians are in public schools around here and use the “salt and light” argument. Just don’t think it works that way. The world influences the Christians, it seems, more than the Christians influence the world.
Sue, Right?!! But… we all have a history of things we aren’t proud of. Varying shades of things we are not proud of. Everybody has to do what they think is best. And I actually feel sorry for moms who blindly follow that argument. Because they just don’t know. They have no idea what they are missing out on by not homeschooling. They may not know what their kids are being exposed to. Just continue to pray that we can all be a light. Help others see the blessings and opportunities available to us homeschoolers!! We are the evangelists… we just need to live the homeschool lifestyle out loud so others see and hear about it!! If you are on instagram, post pictures use the hashtag #365homeschool and be sure to include us #hiphomeschoolmoms. We love sharing images of homeschools in action.
Do you think children (age 7) can be unexposed or detoxed of the Things they were exposed to in school? I have 3 second graders & the topics of conversation on the playground since the end of first grade are beyond what I expected for their age! Primarily foul language & sex. Of course we address it at home but it’s a hard fight when they are being exposed to it everyday. One of my boys was recently diagnosed with a a depressive disorder on top of his already existing anxiety so homeschool has been on my mind a lot these days.
Marie, I’m so sorry… I’m always so sad when I hear what is happening in schools now. Yes, I do believe they can be detoxed… but not if they are going back every day. It will take some time and prayer, and studying scripture together. And distance from the environment. I’ll be praying for you for direction and peace about your decision.
Yes!! You have articulated extremely well!
Thanks Christianna!
Thank you! All of it…. Yes and yes again. ?
Thank you!
<3 <3 <3
Yes, thank you! So many of these reasons for us as well.
Trish I have three kids, two boys 6 and 3 and a baby girl who is 2 months old. We live in a neighborhood with a few families that homeschool and my 6 yo has been begging me to do the same next school year. He is in kindergarten. I am all for it but I have no idea where to start. I agree with everything u said on this article. EVERYTHING. I’ve read about Montessori and I love it. Do u have any advice?
Fernanda, there is no way to mess up Kindergarten!! That stage is the absolute best stage to start! Play and learn. Read, Read, Read to them. Talk about everything, colors, numbers, size, weight… label everything. Go on nature walks and discuss what you see. Ask your child to find things (scavenger hunt). Help them stop and notice the leaves and the flowers… explore. Help them fall in love with learning! Join our community on Facebook. https://www.facebook.com/groups/HipHomeschoolMomsCommunity/ We will help you!
Thank you for your honesty, and for owning the truth about yourself on such an exposing platform. I am in 100% agreement with you! I was one of the public schoolers that really had a heart after God, and the battles I faced in public school in the 90’s had me on my knees everyday after school. It was fierce then, there’s no way I’d send my kids into that battlefield today! Why send the most precious gifts that God entrusted to me to train and steward well into an environment where they have to fight to know Him from day 1? No, we spend our days surrounded by Him and we are so blessed that we have the privilege to do this. Thanks for reminding me of that today! I really needed it. Thanks for spreading courage!
Kirsten, It is a scary sharing so much personal in such a public forum… but I think homeschool moms need to hear it. I have had more than one mom tell me this is the exact reason they are homeschooling, but thought they were alone. Thanks for being a light and an encouragement to me today. I’ll be speaking about this topic at all the GHC conventions… so I need all the courage I can muster!
This is part of the reason why I don’t want to send my kids to public school. I love homeschooling. I was homeschooled as a child I loved it all. My mom gave me plenty of tips on homeschooling over the years as I got older.
I have plenty of reasons for my decision and there are lots of useful information and resources for all homeschooling families as well. We are a Christian homeschooling family and I’m proud of that fact too. I get to focus on what’s really important to me personally.
It is such a blessing being able to homeschool!
Love it! Thank you for putting into words the honest, humble truth about being the sober-minded Mom who is intentionally providing a firm foundation for her kids to fight from. This is not foolishness, sensationalism or naïveté. It’s faithfulness, it’s loyalty and it’s love.
Kelly!! Oh my goodness, yes! Thank you for reading my article and taking the time to leave a word of encouragement!! Let’s keep fighting the good fight! Blessings mama!!
I am homeschooling too. I just started a site. We live in an area that has little academic value in its system, and I’m afraid of the same things. However mine is still young. I’m afraid of severe abuse and damage to his mind, body, soul. I was searching for other moms who decided to homeschool and maybe find tips as well. I’m losing my vision so it’s def a challenge.